Skip to main content

Tuesday November 3rd, 2020

 


Day 3 Oracle Draw: Clover ; "release your guilt"

I carry around guilt like a worn out tote bag that's slung over the shoulder.

I hold so much, stored roughly in the pit of my stomach.

Guilt for the unhealthy food I divulge in.

The small amount of time I spend on personal reading or writing my memoir.

Even allowing myself a nap or going to bed before 9 PM.

These are the lightest aspects of the guilt pile I harbor.

I constantly question myself as to why I allow my mind to poison my soul.

Poison my thoughts and convert my thinking into believing that what I'm doing

isn't good enough.

But, I've never been where I am right now.

And I certainly cannot move backwards as to where I was.

I won't allow myself.

I've made a conscious decision towards bettering my lifestyle--healthy choices.

Eating habits, joining a gym, forcing myself to wash my face and brush my teeth twice a day

and not just once.

Applying (and hopefully getting) a higher up position at my job.

A job I didn't necessarily go to school and get a degree for,

but I job in which I get to meet influential people and make them smile in these hardest of times.

A job that pays my bills and allows me to have a roof over my head,

a roof that keeps me covered and dry as I attempt to read leisurely, when I choose to.

To write, when I'm most inspired.

Whether it be a positive outburst

or a sorrowful bleed.

I've got to give myself a break.

Life isn't the race I think it is in which I'll be judged for all that I do.

It's about what I give towards all that I do.

My very best, or a small attempt towards it,

every time.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An All Too Familiar House

          Not the usual suspense-thriller synopsis I've become accustomed to when reading Lisa Jewell's novels, however, I was entranced by this novel from the get-co. The House We Grew Up In centers around a mother and her four children over the span of a decade. The mother, Lorelei, has an extensive hobby of collecting items that harbor a memory of time spent with her loved ones. Each and every memory-- meaning each and every item she just happens to come across. Lorelei is in fact a hoarder and it does not get better with time. It gets worse. In addition to Lorelei's intense and overbearing lifestyle, her children forego their relationship with their mother and each other in order to gain a sense of normalcy within their individual lives. One of Lorelei's children committed suicide at a ripe age of sixteen and her other three were simultaneously impacted by the act tremendously. Her other son took to finding a thrilling lifestyle in all the wrong places...
Post a Comment
Read more

Four-Walled Nightmare

I will always and forever say this - Lisa Jewell is the QUEEN of the suspense/thriller genre. I'm sure most who read her would agree with me in comparing her and/or referencing her written ability in crafting a phenomenal read to that of the infamous Agatha Christie in her time. Jewell's 2019 debut novel centers around a young woman by the name of Libby Jones, a competent individual with a safe, bright future ahead. Until, she receives a letter shortly after her 25th birthday informing her of a family inheritance worth a fairly decent price and then some . Jones is introduced to readers as the main character to follow, but other characters soon take stage in a plot-twisting novel where family ties don't always hold true with faith, love, and blood. Jewell has this astonishing ability to craft the perfect chapter, whether it be mere attention to detail, length of pages or strategic craftsmanship of paragraph and dialogue portions leaving the reader wanting more - causing th...
Post a Comment
Read more

All Around the Ferris Wheel

  Megan Miranda's novel, "All The Missing Girls", was a thriller/suspense novel I was happy to inhale from my TBR pile - literally (two days of reading straight through). The storyline follows Nicolette Farrell's life, from ten years prior to drastically moving out of her hometown and present day. I believe anyone can relate when Nic's character spends time reminiscing about how things were during high school vs how much things can change when becoming adults. But, what happens when something you did ten years ago starts to repeat itself - almost too much? It makes you wonder, are we really any different than how we used to be? Or have we just gotten better at masking it? Miranda does an awesome job, in my opinion, by introducing this story in backwards timeline sectioning. Nic's return is broken up into two/three weeks worth of a story (with longer portions towards the end of the novel) but Miranda works backwards in showing the jump between past and present...
Post a Comment
Read more