Tuesday November 3rd, 2020

Day 3 Oracle Draw: Clover ; "release your guilt"

I carry around guilt like a worn out tote bag that's slung over the shoulder.

I hold so much, stored roughly in the pit of my stomach.

Guilt for the unhealthy food I divulge in.

The small amount of time I spend on personal reading or writing my memoir.

Even allowing myself a nap or going to bed before 9 PM.

These are the lightest aspects of the guilt pile I harbor.

I constantly question myself as to why I allow my mind to poison my soul.

Poison my thoughts and convert my thinking into believing that what I'm doing

isn't good enough.

But, I've never been where I am right now.

And I certainly cannot move backwards as to where I was.

I won't allow myself.

I've made a conscious decision towards bettering my lifestyle--healthy choices.

Eating habits, joining a gym, forcing myself to wash my face and brush my teeth twice a day

and not just once.

Applying (and hopefully getting) a higher up position at my job.

A job I didn't necessarily go to school and get a degree for,

but I job in which I get to meet influential people and make them smile in these hardest of times.

A job that pays my bills and allows me to have a roof over my head,

a roof that keeps me covered and dry as I attempt to read leisurely, when I choose to.

To write, when I'm most inspired.

Whether it be a positive outburst

or a sorrowful bleed.

I've got to give myself a break.

Life isn't the race I think it is in which I'll be judged for all that I do.

It's about what I give towards all that I do.

My very best, or a small attempt towards it,

every time.

Comments

April 19th Poetry Prompt: Write a poem without using pronouns

Don't for the past 10 months the 19th day (between 30 + 31 of those accounted for) has been the most difficult for so many reasons death isn't easy especially in the aftermath + to think differently should fain ignorance sympathy is an honest tactic until pity seeps in (which doesn't suffice) actions are louder than words however these words spoke volumes in an attempt to quit bullshitting relationships were halted-- relationships in which happiness/ brightness/giving was demanded-- to harbor for one let alone all was inhumane so snip in response: no wedding invitations (something to smile at + not mean) to stop wallowing in sadness + own pity + emotionally invest in the happiness of other recipients around -- to fake it + make it for a group effort in other words: get the fuck over it + stop letting shit fly by be happy for all around because emotions were contorted due to the decision to guard + - hope to hear a cons...

Spirits and Swords!

Onyx and Ivory , by Mindee Arnett, was a complete spur of the moment buy at the bookstore and I am forever patting myself on the back because this YA fantasy novel is a hit! The cover caught my attention on the shelf, but the synopsis-- a "traitor's" daughter at a point of finding out secrets and rekindling love with an unsuspecting partner? Count me in! Following Kate's story was simple and riveting from the get-co. Magic influenced Kate from birth and she spends her adolescence hiding it -- a final rule and request from her father before he was executed by the crown. The crown being Kate's supposed love -- Price Corwin. Corwin undergoes his own growing pains and turmoil as he's set up against his older brother to, literally , contend for the future of the crown! Between personal discovery and growth both individuals deal with, magic has a stronghold influence on the storyline, primarily between those who...

Everyone's Relatable

Fredrik Backman's Anxious People is a 2019 publication, translated into English in 2021. This novel was nothing I had expected it to be based on the synopsis of a desperate individual who turned to robbing a bank in order to overcome current life circumstances. The novel follows a number of characters and their current livelihoods; individuals "held up" as hostages in the middle of an apartment showing which took place before the New Year holiday. I was impressed with the attention to detail Backman was able to portray, not necessarily in backdrops of locations but between the different characters' thoughts/lifestyles throughout the piece. What I expected of an individual in the beginning was not relatable to what was uncovered/divulged to the reader towards the middle/end of the novel. This novel did follow the actions of a woman (not identified gender-wise until late into the novel) who chose to rob a bank in order to retrieve financial means t...

Fond of Fonts

Search This Blog